I have a distinct and distant memory of doing an elementary school assignment that involved using crayons to color code some sort of chart.
I got in a hurry so I misunderstood the instructions and put the colors in the wrong place. I remember my classmates chiding me and I felt embarrassed. The teacher told me to do it over, but I thought the colors looked good where I put them. I tried to color over what I had made, but crayon on crayon doesn’t work well at all so I had a messy color chart that didn’t make any sense to anyone except me.
Many years passed and I “forgot” about the incident. It came back to me when I was making these crayon drawings last week. (I found some crayons in a closet while staying at my parents house.) Part of me felt mad about the memory and how I was criticized for thinking the “wrong” colors looked nice. Another part of me knows that my teacher and classmates weren’t trying to put me down they just expected the assignment to be done in a neat and orderly fashion.
I’m glad I gave up on neat and orderly. I learned that there is no such thing as a straight line and I kept on taking my colors out of the box. I want my soul to smile and scream and never worry about using the wrong color.