Author: ryanhughesart

I am a songwriter and artist from South Mississippi. I write and sing folk/blues songs and I paint and draw abstract art.

If The Devil Decided To Pray

April 17, 2023
If the devil decided to pray
Would it be on a Sunday
Early in the morning
When the church bells toll
Would he get the calling
And rise from his falling
And get back in the home
He left so long ago
Would God be listening
To his pleading
And remember
All the singing
Before his friend
Cast the first stone
What if God decided to stay
And not change his ways
Would he leave the locks
On heavens door
Would he build the wall taller
And not even bother
Because he’s heard
This prayer before
But if God was listening
And not resisting
He’d find
What was missing
From his words
Left in stone
If the devil decided to pray
Would it be on a Sunday
Early in the morning
When the church bells toll
Would he get the calling
And rise from his falling
And get back in the home
He left so long ago
Lyrics by Ryan Hughes

Have You Felt This Way Before

April 13, 2023
Soul stirring abandon
Doesn’t feel random
Looking out from the shore
Fighting the surface
Where everything hurts us
If you let it reach the core
Have you felt this way before
Have you felt this way before
Have you felt
This way
Before
In a far away mansion
Hidden in madness
Locked behind an open door
A king lay dying
And the next in line is
Picking his crown up off the floor
Have you felt this way before
Have you felt this way before
Have you felt
This way
Before
A lover is waiting
Anticipating
Hoping you’ll come back for more
A whisper wanted
Becomes haunted
And screams until his throat is sore
Have you felt this way before
Have you felt this way before
Have you felt
This way
Before
Lyrics by Ryan Hughes

Corpse

April 4, 2023
I’m a soul in a corpse
A doll with remorse
A scarecrow on a stick
Can’t move to protect
All that blossoms
In the storm
All that is tossed and torn
And born
To become rotten
And forgotten
Or transformed
Into another soul on a stick
Or a child learning to kick
Inside the womb
Or outside the tomb
Of a corpse with remorse
A doll with soul
Blackbirds singing
To the scarecrow
Poem and Photo By Ryan Hughes

The Loving Loss Of Innocence

April 4, 2023
The loving loss of innocence
The battle with existence
Can we change
With the spinning sun
Without blame for anyone
Or no shame and all fun
And no name for the gun
That shot a hole in all that can’t last
And the blood that ran so fast
Cast a shadow on the hand
That tries reaching through the dark
And yearning for a spark
Climbing out of the womb
But digging a tomb
And the loving loss of innocence
Is passed in a hurry
Memories blurry
So the mind tells a story
To understand the cost
To deal with loss
And suffer without guilt
And a new innocence is built
Not out of memories or dreams
But in the present moment called
Nothing
Poem By Ryan Hughes

Make A Joke

April 4, 2023

Make a note
To make a joke
When you feel the joy
Of anything that’s broke
Taking over your every step
And guiding you to the edge
Not to jump
But just to look
And remember all the time it took
For you to be here
Standing on a sphere
Propelled by fear
Of what you think is real
Now standing on the edge
What you thought vanishes
And the void fills with bandages
And the wounds of the world
Rise up to level ground
And we walk further out
Than ever before
Eventually soaring on a dream
That floats over any thing that hurts
Once more telling the joke
And laughing as its spoke

Poem By Ryan Hughes

Back To Zero

October 31, 2022

Raptured to zero
Square one by tomorrow
But two steps forward
Leads to three behind
A four part question
Blew from every direction
Kept me five miles from forever
Dreaming of home I can never find
I prayed through six lonely days
Until the seventh became a curse
For eight to become nine
But taking its time
A revolution to make things worse

Poem and Art by Ryan Hughes

Ignore The Heart

September 8, 2022

All that you cared for
All you prepared for
Seemed somehow broken
From the start
No one ever told you
Worry can come true
And when love turns to fear
It leaves a mark

So ignore the heart
Ignore the heart

Though it made my back sore
I don’t sleep in her bed no more
Things got complicated
In the dark
She folds the covers quickly
Light shines in without me
Hear the lonesome whistle
Of the lark

And ignore the heart
Ignore the heart

All the ones before me
Never knew the whole story
Always kept it hidden
Like an art
Flowers plucked so freely
Kept her feeling lonely
In a garden viewed
From afar

Ignore the heart
Ignore the heart

Lyrics by Ryan Hughes

Anxiety

September 8, 2022

Anxiety
Keeps me on the edge of my seat
Anxiety
Makes me feel like I can’t breathe
Makes me feel panic
Makes me feel scared
There’s a tightness in my chest

Anxiety
Must be something wrong with me
Anxiety
I must have some kind of disease
Makes me do things I regret
And forget every word I said
Makes me wish I was dead

Anxiety
Makes me forget all of my friends
Anxiety
They can’t find me but know where I’ve been
Makes me feel damaged
Makes me feel low
Keeps me saying, I don’t know

Anxiety
Makes me forget what I need
Anxiety
I can’t enjoy anything
Makes me vicious
Makes me feel mean
Makes me feel so obscene

Anxiety
I keep forgetting all my dreams
Anxiety
Keeps me from getting any sleep
Makes me static
Makes me feel gone
Like I can’t find my way home

Anxiety
Lock me up throw away the key
Anxiety
Time will tell just wait and see
Makes me lonely
Makes me feel scared
Keeps me trapped in my head

Poem by Ryan Hughes

Sorry To Myself (No One Else)

August 17, 2022

I’m sorry to myself
No one else
But me
Could have seen
The dream
Where the hammer swings
And the fool must bring
His every mistake to
The well
Where water
Flows through
Knows you
And can show you
Allows a way
To begin each day
And say a prayer
Sing a song
To what
I don’t know
Can’t know
But I’ll flow
Into the well
Into the swell
Become the nail
That holds your hand into place
And keeps me saying
Sorry to myself
And no one else

Poem by Ryan Hughes 

Wasted Time

August 16, 2022

I know you’re watching me
But you can’t really see
Whats underneath my smiling eyes

It’s not that I’m feeling disgust
Or that I hurt that much
But something just isn’t right

You see me shaking hands
Trying to understand
But inside I’m on fire

And not the kind of fire
Made of dreams and desire
But the kind that keeps you scared

Scared of everything
What evil will it bring
And how they lurk everywhere

We like what you said
We like what you’ve read
But lately I’m not impressed

I’ve been looking close
And seeing that at most
You’re just a poser at best

Oh no you can’t see everything
How my heart sings
And there’s more I can confess

I just don’t want to reveal
All the hope I conceal
Because I want it intact

If I stand and say
You’ll love me someday
Then you’ll probably turn your back

So I hide my dreams
You don’t care what they mean
And keep my nose to the grind

And likely you’ll see
You’re just like me
With a pocketful of wasted time

Poem by Ryan Hughes 

Tone Mess

August 14, 2022

Changing the dial
Always getting static
The signal comes through
Often erratic
With turmoil and tears
And painful passion
Wanting to die
Seems so relaxing

Background Notion

Poem and Art by Ryan Hughes

In The Grip

August 14, 2022

How to say what you’ve seen
And know where you’ve been
Is a dream not many can
know

To feel what is real
And heal what’s been killed
Is a wish that keeps digging a hole

So we borrow and we steal
What he said and what she feels
Forgetting our own reasons
Of why we want to live

To sing what is true
But sounds like the blues
Is a song that few of us hear

To scream what I mean
And cause a big scene
Is a dream that often reappears

So we settle on sorrow
We bet on tomorrow
While the changing seasons
Keep us in each others grIp

Poem by Ryan Hughes 

Feel Right

August 8, 2022

Something doesn’t feel right
When you wake in the night
You try to scream
But you know it can’t relieve
The pain that you feel inside

Back home meanwhile
They make you walk single file
And force you to dream
The shape of all you think
Into one long endless fight

I wonder what
This feeling means
Afraid of the truth
Whatever it brings

Keep forgetting your lines
But no way to rewind
Tell me now
What it is I need to grow
And how do I get right

Won’t believe
What you cannot see
I don’t trust you
You don’t trust me

Get what you require
And all you can desire
Reach your hands
For a chance to try and stand
But still wake up in the fire

Something doesn’t feel right
When you wake in the night
You try to scream
But you know it can’t relieve
The pain that you feel inside

Lyrics by Ryan Hughes

Cosmos in a Clover

August 5, 2022

Stretch a simple solution
Into multiple illusions
Wrap ready memories
Of heartache and joy
Forgotten at birth
Into lasting stories
Of why laughing was made
From a curse
And how pain can push pleasure into a state of pure being 
Rolling in clover with my lover
Early summer
The sky slowly falling to night
Stars become clear 
Vast fields of clover imagined in the worlds unending 
Smile from a lover multiplied and fashioned
Into a dream that lasts as long as you stay awake
I don’t have any ready made solutions for confusion
But I know it’s okay to be afraid
And once you realize you’ve been dreaming the whole time then all you thought was keeping you down melts away and the wild clovers can be born again

To Be Born Again

Writing and Art by Ryan Hughes

Who Can I Be

August 3, 2022

It’s enough to make you mad
And send you home crying
Its enough to turn you bad
And make you give up trying
So I wonder who can I be
I wonder who can I be

It’s enough to make you sad
And send you home frightened
Time takes all you had
And makes it become rotten
So I wonder who can I be
I wonder who can I be

It’s enough to change the sand
Into a stone that lingers
It’s enough to tame the land
Into a flowing river
So I wonder who can I be
I wonder who can I be

The pressure and the pills
The paycheck and the bills
The loving and the lies
The hello and goodbye

It’s enough to take a stand
On what you believe in
And give the mortal man
Some kind of reason
Still I wonder who can I be
I wonder who can I be

The past and the pain
The sunshine and the rain
The dream and the joy
Of the girl and boy

It’s enough to make you mad
And send you home crying
Its enough to turn you bad
And make you give up trying
So I wonder who can I be
I wonder who can I be

Poem/Lyrics by Ryan Hughes

Pull The Strings

July 19, 2022

Who wants a life
I got one ready
Molded with strife
Forgotten and neglected
Here’s the strings
Pull them tight
My arms come up
I’m ready to fight
Tug at my heart
So it won’t run away
Sometimes scares you
Though it beats everyday
Here’s my words
Trying to cut you down
Pull the strings
And I’ll play the clown

Who wants a life
I’ve got one waiting
To be trusted beaten
Loved and hated
Here’s the strings
Connect all my thoughts
Pull them tight
I won’t know that I forgot

Who wants a life
I’ve got one lurking
Waiting for beauty
But always uncertain
Here’s the strings
Keep me moving slow
The tighter you pull
The less I care to know

Here’s my eyes
Demand that I always look
The master that owns me
Stepping on my foot
Saying, Here’s the path to salvation
Here’s the path you have to take
But first you have to cut the strings
And you can’t hesitate
I tell you now
It’s much easier to leave the strings
Easier to be guided by me
I’ll tell you what you need
I know the kind of life you should lead
What to believe and how to think
I know what you need
Let me pull the strings

I’ve got a life ready and waiting
Step right up no hesitating
All you gotta do is sign the dotted line
Hold on tight and you’ll do just fine
You might feel uncomfortable at first
Wearing these strings
Yeah, the suit kinda hurts
Well before long you won’t even see the strings there
You’ll be taken care of so well
You won’t even be aware
Of the tugging and toiling
And all the pain you put me through
Just to keep you in line
But you won’t even mind
Because the strings will set you free, believe me
I’m not sure about that
How could that be
Well who are you gonna believe
The one wearing the strings
Or the one pulling them

Written by Ryan Hughes

Everywhere Everything

July 8, 2022

Everywhere
Everything
Is a reflection
Of where we are
Who we are
And who we are yet to become
Haunted by who we will never be
Imagined in misery

To replace the pain we often feel
That sends our every instinct into fear
With a joy that can’t be taken away
Or ruled by decay
It takes letting go
Roll with the happening
Toil in blasphemy
Or bask in the glory
Of today

Why are you mad or troubled
Why are you feeling double the pressure to just be you
Is it because you don’t control the wheel
Just a cog in it
Don’t belong here
But that’s not mentioned in any sonnet
Where would you be of your own choosing
What would you be to replace the losing and feuding
What desire would drive you
To step out
On your own time
And morph into something miraculous

Poem by Ryan Hughes

His Dream Or Mine

June 28, 2022

God know me
Said he was lonely
Saw my struggling and thought he could help
So he introduced himself in the middle of a dream
(His dream or mine, I’m not sure which)
Then continued to follow me into the next morning
And into the next days
And soon a panic attack was induced
Because I didn’t like him watching me, smiling
Even when nothing was happening or being said
He mostly would just point out things
Like a patch of wildflowers
Or how the rain sounded late at night

I couldn’t get God off my back!
I couldn’t do anything
Without this deep fear of God
Lurking within my being
Confusing my existence
Reeking havoc on my world
Of pain for pleasure
And delusion for freedom
I wasn’t ready for his honesty
His non attachment to worry and dread

What would he find there, in my mind?
What would he uncover or reveal?

I can’t tell you what God looks like
Its more of a presence kind of, a feeling
And he scared the shit out of me!

He wanted to be friends
But I didn’t know how to be friends with him
I never knew how to talk to him or listen
But I somehow know he’s there

I’ve tried ignoring him
Hiding from him
Even denied his existence
But that feeling is still there

I only hurt myself
And destroy any sense of real peace
That I might ever be able to feel
When I don’t embrace the God within me

Written by Ryan Hughes

I’ll Show You The Way

June 27, 2022

Reach for reasons
Go back to the beginning
If you can’t remember
I’ll show you the way

Settle on something
That turns into loving
If you can’t remember
I’ll show you the way

It might take madness
Mixed with sadness
To realize
Love is not in vain

Battle for freedom
Commit to the healing
If you can’t remember
I’ll show you the way

Join in the chorus
Of all those before us
If you can’t remember
I’ll show you the way

No need to worry
Or get in a hurry
Every thing
Has its time and place

Reach for reasons
Go back to the beginning
If you can’t remember
I’ll show you the way

Poem by Ryan Hughes

Cleanse

June 15, 2022

The wind cannot wait

Nor hesitate

Or hurry

Only sings continual

Dependable

Carries clouds

Rain

The storm

Comes again

A cleanse

Light Storm/Broken Dimension

Poem and Painting by Ryan Hughes